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Surrey jokes with comedian Tim Vine

PUBLISHED: 11:20 30 March 2015 | UPDATED: 08:44 31 March 2015

Tim Vine shares a few Surrey one-liners

Tim Vine shares a few Surrey one-liners

Whenever we meet Banstead-based comedian Tim Vine, we challenge him to come up with a few Surrey themed ticklers. Can you do any better than these efforts?

Read our latest interview with Tim in April 2015's Surrey Life magazine

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1. I’ve just written a book called Places near Guildford; obviously that’s just a Woking title.

2. This jockey said to me, “Why is it sometimes I like the Derby and sometimes I don’t?” I said, “Life’s full of Epsom Downs.”

3. Did you know that at Christmas the sea comes all the way up to Epsom? It’s called the Ewell tide...

4. So I said to this bloke, “I love performing round here.” He said, “Biggin Hill?” I said, “No, but I’m quite big in Cheam.”

Share your Surrey jokes with us at facebook.com/SurreyLife or twitter.com/SurreyLife

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